6 Tips to Fix That Fall Out in Relationships
Our relationships with friends, partners and family don't always go smoothly. Check out our top tips for sorting conflicts with the people you love.
1) Try and see their side of things
There's usually a bit of right (and wrong) on both sides.
- When negotiating with your parents and guardians, try to remember that they're responsible for you until you're 16, and sometimes you've just got to accept their rules.
- With younger siblings, keep in mind what it was like when you were their age, and the other issues they might be dealing with.
- When disagreeing with a partner, be sure to be respectful and try to understand their point of view, as you would expect them to do for you.
2) Be clear about what you want
Nobody can read your mind! You don't need to shout (it won't help and isn’t good for you or anyone around you), but you do need to make sure other people know exactly what the problem is and why you're upset.
You also have to give the other person a chance to have their say. Listen carefully, don't interrupt and, if you don't understand, ask them to explain what they mean.
3) Keep the temperature down
Shouting, bawling and storming around doesn't help solve anything.
If you're angry, try to calm down before confronting anyone. If they're angry, give them space and don't let their anger affect you. Being around people who are shouting at each other is not a good environment for anyone to be in. It is important to be mindful of how your actions can affect those around you, especially if you have children or younger siblings.
4) Talk about it!
If something's bugging you, try not to bottle it up or sulk. Talking (or writing) about difficult situations can help us sort out our thoughts and feelings. This can be really handy if we need to get our point of view across to someone else. Being honest with what you’re thinking, or feeling, can help to sort out conflicts in a productive and meaningful way too!
5) Take a breather
If things are getting heated, suggest a ten minute break and come back to talk when everyone's feeling a bit more reasonable.
If your argument is with someone you don't have to see every day, it's tempting just to avoid them, however, if you want to be friends again it’s important not to leave things to fester. If you live with the person you’re arguing with, give each other a bit of space to cool down to ensure that the atmosphere is as calm as it can be for all involved.
Once you've calmed down, get together and try to talk about what happened.
6) Be prepared to compromise
Be prepared for some give and take.
If what you want is reasonable, you shouldn't need to give up on it completely, but be willing to meet the other person half way.
Remember, when we spend a lot of time with people sometimes arguments can be unavoidable, but the way we handle them can have a big impact on our relationships with everyone around us.
The important thing is to speak up, be considerate and not let issues linger. We all want to get along as best as we can with the people we love, so there's no point holding a grudge over silly arguments or annoyances if there are ways of dealing with the conflict sensibly.