How to Deal with Jealousy in Relationships

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Tips on beating the green-eyed monster before it damages our relationships 

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Should I feel jealous?

Feeling like you want to spend more time with someone you like is natural.

On the other hand, if you spend all your time together, how boring would that be? You won't have much to talk about for starters.

Do you have any real evidence they're aren't being faithful? Have they done it before, for example?

If you don't have any real reason to feel this way, chances are you're just a bit insecure and need reassurance.

If there is something more concrete, you need to talk to them about how you feel. 

What can I do if I feel jealous?

Being able to recognise that we feel jealous is a good thing.However the key to maintaining relationships is how we deal with it.

Don't:

  • nag, shout or sulk - you'll drive them away
  • try to control them - you can't own another person
  • try to make them jealous to get back at them - they'll dump you if they've any sense.

What you can do is:

  • remember who's in control of your feelings - you are!
  • look for other reasons you could be feeling needy
  • ask to spend more time together - fix up some interesting dates
  • talk to your other half about how you feel - nicely!
  • distract yourself when you're apart - see your other mates
  • have some fun and laughs on your own account

What can I do about their jealousy?

Assuming you've not done anything wrong:

  • talk to them about why they're acting this way
  • re-assure them you're still into them
  • spend a little more time with them if you can.

That said, you don't have to put up with them trying to control your life.

If their jealousy has gone so far that they are being aggressive to someone they're supposed to love, it's unlikely anything you do or say will fix the way they feel. It's time to leave if you can.

If they're so upset they're acting violently or threaten you, don't be alone with them and get out as soon as you can.