If you’ve decided that you’re ready for sex it’s important to make sure that it is a healthy and enjoyable experience. Healthy sex should be safe and consensual and can be also be fun.
The word ‘sex’ can be used for arrange of activities including masturbation, mutual masturbation, oral sex, anal sex, phone sex, cyber sex to penetrative sex.
Everyone has a right to safe and happy sexual experiences so it’s also worth understanding what might risks there might be. These could be regrets, unwanted pregnancy or getting a sexually transmitted infection (STI).
Pleasure
If you’ve chosen to have sex then it should be an enjoyable and fun experience. It’s worth asking yourself why you want to have sex. Is it because you’re in a relationship? You’re really attracted to the person you want to have sex with?
Sometimes there can be wrong reasons for having sex and these can get in the way of it being a pleasurable and enjoyable experience.
These could be:
- peer pressure- all your friends are saying they’re having sex so you have sex when you’re not ready.
- you’re not attracted to the person but it feels good to get attention.
- you’re being asked for sex in return for something like money or shelter.
Safer
Safer sex means protecting yourself and your partner from regrets, unwanted pregnancy or STIs. Talking about how you’re going to do this with your partner before having sex is really important.
- Use a condom and other forms of contraception.
- There are lots of sexual activities that carry less risk of STIs like kissing, massage or mutual masturbation (touching each other’s sexual parts)
Consensual
This means that you have both agreed that you would like to have sex. Being forced or intimidated into having sex against your will is abuse.
- It really helps to make sure you are both happy to have sex by talking about it- before and after sex.
- Talk to your partner about what you would like, what you agree to and what you don’t feel comfortable with.
- You may start having sex but then decide that you would like to stop. It’s better to say that you are not comfortable and would like to stop because you may end up regretting it if you carry on.
The Law
The age of consent in Scotland is 16 years old, for both boys and girls. So if both people are 16 years or older and both want to sex then it is legal. Sex is illegal if:
- one of the partners is under the age of 16.
- one of the partners is forced to have sex against their will.
- if happens in a public place.
For more information about what the law says about sex visit our page on Sex & the Law.
More help and information
If you want to talk to someone at anytime then why not try calling ChildLine. They have a free confidential counselling service which you call on 0800 1111 (24hrs).
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