Caring for someone with an eating disorder can be difficult. Here is some information and advice that should help you in your journey as a Carer:
It’s not your fault
The first thing you need to understand is that it is not your fault. It’s not the fault of the person with the eating disorder either. Eating disorders develop for loads of different reasons and it will not help them to recover they are made to feel like it’s their fault. Try to learn as much as you can about the illness. This will help you to understand what your friend or family member is going through.
Be ready to listen and accept what their experience is
An eating disorder is very serious mental illness and often someone with an eating disorder will act in a way that is difficult to understand. To recover, they will need family and friends to be patient with them and to accept them as they are. This support will help them to face the original issues that caused the eating disorder and gradually change their eating habits.
Have the courage to talk about it
If you are worried about a friend or family member and think you are starting to recognise signs of an eating disorder developing, the first step is to talk about it. An eating disorder will not go away by itself and so it is important that you talk to them about it.
Approaching someone about their illness can be very difficult. The sufferer will often be very embarrassed about their illness and may not accept that they have a problem. Find a safe place to talk, at the right time and in a non-patronizing way. If you feel you are not the right person to talk about it, maybe suggest they talk to someone else that they trust, it could be a sibling, a friend, a teacher, or another family member.
When you bring it up they may get upset or angry. You need to be prepared to be gentle but firm and encourage them to get professional treatment.
Be sensitive
An eating disorder is a mental illness so trying to get the sufferer to eat will not help them recover. Recovery is a slow process. Allow the sufferer to deal with food increases/changes/challenges in their own time. As the sufferer journeys through recovery there will be times of where they make progress and times where it seems as if they aren’t, but also times of weakness. You also need to be able to recognise the real young person and when the illness is talking.
Find support for yourself
Find a support group with other carers where you can share frustrations and encouragement. Make sure that you have time for yourself, it will take a lot of patience, energy and strength to support your friend or family member and this can be tiring. Remember they do love you even though they may not act that way. Love is the strongest bond to fight this illness!
Lauren’s Story
“I personally could not have got through my illness without the support and love of my Mum Dad and Sister. Their patience, understanding and support allowed me to come to terms with my illness, to find the motivation to fight it and to eventually beat it. They never made me feel ashamed or unloved – I always knew I could go to them. Your role is vital as a carer. No matter what happens, never give up! Recovery is possible and as friends/family, you can get through this!”
For more information on how to recognise Eating Disorders in young people visit the youth pages on the beat website.You can also find out what treatment is available on the beat website.
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